Wow, No Thank You.: Essays

Soon afterward, however, the author receives an offer to travel to California again, this time to be a writer for a TV series developed from the book Shrill, written by Irby’s friend Lindy West. The author says:

I had zero experience in a writers’ room and zero experience working on a television show other than the soap opera running a continuous loop in my head, starring myself. […] I was incredibly flattered and 100% positive that I was grossly unqualified for this job that I was absolutely going to accept (244).

In this essay, Irby describes having two months to fully appreciate California. Accentuating the experience for Irby is the well-appointed office she receives, something she photographs as soon as no one is looking. In the midst of the glitz, she becomes part of the writing team and finds she will be expected to write one episode of the series herself. Writing with the others on the team proves to be a challenge for Irby, who comments, “I had no reason to believe I would ever sit in a room with people who make decisions about what other people get to watch and be taken seriously” (254).

She expresses a desire to write a totally unique piece in which individuals with obesity embrace their lives without remorse. Irby notes that, on most television programs, people with obesity are mournful about their weight, with their size presented as the only aspect of their identity. Irby’s contribution to the series was an affirming pool party set up exclusively for heavier women.

In this essay, the author wants the reader to understand without doubt that the notoriety she has received, including book tours, trips to California, and time spent on the bestseller’s list do not translate to wealth. She writes, “please enjoy this guided tour of some of the stupidest and most desperate money moments of my life” (265-66). Most of the essay is devoted to a chronological recounting of foolish financial decisions the author has made. Before stepping into the past, however, Irby mentions that, upon receiving payment for her first book, she squandered the entire amount in less than two weeks.

The author notes that many of her financial trials came about through relying on people who were unscrupulous or who also had no budgeting ability. Her first roommate, a girl Irby lived with right after her mother’s death, sold marijuana out of their apartment, ostensibly to pay half the rent. Only when they are about to be evicted does Irby learn the girl has not paid her share. The other aspect of the author’s initial struggles with money came from unrealistic expectations and general ignorance about finances. Upon selling her battered used car to a dealer, she expects to receive $2000, and instead must accept $80.

As she brings the essay to a close, Irby writes about the pernicious impact of lifelong poverty. She describes the mass of those who, like her, were born and raised below the poverty line and identifies with them when she writes, “my people are poor people who were masters in the art of robbing Peter to pay Paul” (276).

This essay is a list comprised of make-believe 911 calls. The person calling for help is the author and the reasons for her calls are the various sources of anxiety that she faces in any given day. Many of the sources of the author’s anxiety she has mentioned throughout the book emerge again within these 911 calls. She is anxious because someone stands outside the door of the public bathroom she occupies. She is anxious because she does not want to interact with a Trader Joe’s greeter, or the cleaning crew at her home, or a public restroom attendant. She is anxious because she fears the doctor wants to speak with her about her weight rather than the symptoms she wants help with.

Irby describes standing haplessly in a checkout line at Target, wrestling with whether to switch to another lane that seems to be moving faster. She worries that a total stranger standing near her will notice that she is sweating and actually using her fingers to wipe sweat from her brow. Intent on being on time for a morning meeting, the author tries to decide how early she must get up; she wrestles with possible traffic problems and necessary preparations she must make, suddenly realizing she has been awake for an hour and a half. Her ultimate joke comes when she describes the torturous prison that is her mind and how she believes she needs real help. The 911 operator, listening to her plight, puts her on hold.

Irby dedicates her final essay to the description of the publication of Meaty, her first book of essays. She describes her earliest ventures in literature, beginning with the high school short story she wrote about killing her mother—which the teacher praised before sending her to the social worker. When her traditional schooling ended, Irby set aside the fiction she had been writing. Before long, in order to impress a boy she liked, she began writing a MySpace blog. She discovered that, on the blog, she was able to write openly about things she did not feel she could discuss with anyone face to face. Irby says, “there was a freedom in shouting these sordid stories into a faceless Internet void, and the responses I got were positive, so I kept doing it” (305). The blog opened some doors for Irby to work in clubs and other live venues.

An independent publisher convinces Irby to gather her essays into a book form, thus bringing Meaty into being. Within a few months, Irby receives a call from a legitimate literary agent in New York, who signs her to a contract and works with her to develop her second book, which took a year to create. Of her work, she writes, “I wish I had some kind of interesting process that makes it s’em like I'm doing deep, important work over here, but I mostly just wrote in my apartment and in various hotel rooms and at my cluttered desk in the corner after I moved to Michigan” (315).