The Surrender Experiment

Shelly Singer is Singer’s first wife who played a significant role in the early phases of his life, particularly before and during his initial foray into his spiritual journey. Their relationship highlights an important aspect of Singer’s personal story. He openly discusses their separation in The Surrender Experiment, describing their divorce as a turning point in his life that catalyzes his deeper exploration of surrender. As he grapples with the emotional challenges of their separation, he maintains his commitment to living a life aligned with the universe’s flow.

Shelly’s presence in the narrative serves as a backdrop to Singer’s shift from conventional living to his spiritual experiment. Their relationship represents the human struggles of attachment and the lessons of letting go, central to the book’s themes. Singer’s reflections on their separation reveal the emotional complexity of surrender, showcasing his view that even deeply personal relationships must align with the broader flow of life. While Shelly’s direct involvement in later events is not central to the book, her impact on Singer’s life and the early decisions that shaped his path underscores her importance in his story.

Yogi Amrit Desai, born on October 16, 1932, in Halol, Gujarat, India, is a renowned yoga master and spiritual teacher who played a pivotal role in introducing authentic yoga teachings to the West. He is the founder of Kripalu Yoga and the Amrit Yoga Institute and has established multiple yoga and health centers across the United States.

In The Surrender Experiment, Singer recounts a significant encounter with Amrit that influenced his spiritual journey. In 1976, Singer invited Amrit to lead a retreat at the Temple of the Universe, the yoga and meditation center Singer had founded in Alachua, Florida. This event marked a transformative moment for Singer, as it shifted his focus from solitary practice to embracing a communal approach to spirituality.

Amrit’s teachings emphasize the importance of surrendering to the flow of life and allowing the inner energy, or prana, to guide one’s actions—a concept that resonated deeply with Singer’s own experiences and philosophies. The retreat facilitated by Amrit not only enriched the spiritual practices at the Temple but also reinforced Singer’s commitment to living a life of surrender and acceptance.

This collaboration with Amrit exemplifies the integration of Eastern spiritual teachings into Western contexts, highlighting the universal applicability of principles such as surrender, mindfulness, and the pursuit of inner peace. Amrit’s influence on Singer underscores the impact that spiritual mentors have in deepening one’s understanding and practice of surrender, as detailed in The Surrender Experiment.

Donna Wagner (later Donna Singer), Singer’s second wife, played a pivotal role in Singer’s journey as described in The Surrender Experiment. She entered Singer’s life as a student in his Santa Fe Community College classes, and he describes her as bringing with her a grounded presence and an exceptional depth of understanding of the teachings he imparted. Donna stood out to Singer not only for her maturity but also for the ways she embraced the spiritual principles he championed. Their repeated chance encounters in town hinted at the synchronistic nature of their connection, a hallmark of Singer’s philosophy throughout the book. Donna’s eventual integration into Singer’s life exemplifies the unfolding of life’s flow, a central tenet of surrender that Singer advocates.

Initially, Donna began attending the Sunday services at the Temple of the Universe and volunteering her time to help organize the gatherings after the departure of Sandy, a previous helper. Her commitment extended beyond logistical support; she became an integral part of the spiritual community, embodying the values of service and surrender. Over time, Donna moved into the cabin in the woods, choosing to leave behind the comfort of a condominium her parents had provided. This decision illustrates her willingness to embrace the simplicity and spiritual focus of Singer’s way of life, aligning herself with his vision of detachment from material comforts in favor of deeper, more meaningful pursuits.

As Singer narrates, their relationship evolved naturally, initially characterized by shared spiritual goals and a mutual dedication to the Temple’s activities. However, as Donna became more involved in his daily life, Singer began to confront his own self-imposed limitations regarding personal relationships. At the time, Singer struggled with the notion of special relationships, believing they might distract him from his spiritual path. Yet, Donna’s presence challenged this belief, teaching him that surrendering to life’s flow included embracing the connections life brought his way. Their bond deepened, leading to marriage and the birth of their daughter—a transformative chapter in Singer’s life that broadened his understanding of love, partnership, and spiritual growth.

Donna’s role extended beyond personal companionship. She became a source of emotional stability and strength during the tumultuous periods of Singer’s professional and legal challenges. Her quiet resilience and support mirrored the principles of surrender that Singer sought to embody. Whether in the mundane routines of managing the Temple or the extraordinary pressures of the external world, Donna’s presence served as an anchor, allowing Singer to maintain his focus on the broader spiritual experiment of letting life unfold without resistance.