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Emmie wakes up on Monday dreading going to school. Her hair curls above her head, and at breakfast, her dad jokes that it “set a new deflating record” (21). An illustration shows Emmie’s father sitting with his newspaper at the table as her mother hollers from out of the scene about her keys and purse. Emmie misses her siblings, Brandon and Trina, who are both away at college. Her dad drives her to school, and she gets “the knots,” worrying about all the things that might happen. Emmie takes deep breaths to relax herself. An illustration shows Emmie walking to her locker, passing the other students with her head down. She sees two boys standing in front of her locker and instantly feels nervous, deciding to pretend to text Brianna. Emmie has an old flip phone because her parents think she’s too young for a smartphone. With blush lines covering her cheeks, she hesitantly taps one of the boys and asks him to move. He moves ever so slightly, and Emmie feels like it’s a victory because “people tend to get annoyed” or don’t notice her at all (28).
Katie comes into school with a big smile on her face. Students step aside as she walks by, and her friends flock to her. She notices the bell is about to ring, and she and her friends skip to class holding hands as Katie says, “Can’t wait to get the day started” (32).
Emmie gets to see her best friend, Brianna, for homeroom and lunch, but the rest of their classes are separate because Brianna is in the gifted program. Emmie and Brianna met in kindergarten when Brianna moved from Georgia, and they were a good pair because Emmie was easygoing and Brianna was more of a leader. In middle school, when Brianna was put into different classes, Emmie felt like she had nobody left to talk to: “The more alone I was, the quieter I got” (39). An illustration shows her with no mouth. Even worse, Brianna made new friends in her classes, while Emmie did not. In homeroom, Brianna texts Emmie and asks her if she plans to talk to a certain boy, but Emmie is reluctant to explain that just yet. She hurriedly finishes her homework before classes start and watches the other students, who seem perfectly content.
Katie loves homeroom because it’s the best chance for her to catch up on gossip and she can relax because she always gets her homework done the night before. One of Katie’s friends tells her that a certain boy likes her. Katie is excited by the idea but takes it lightly, knowing that it’s just a rumor. An illustration shows Katie and Emmie sitting next to one another at their desks as Emmie scribbles furiously and Katie relaxes with her phone.
As Emmie walks down the “hallway/labyrinth” she notices everything wrong and off-putting around her, like a wet paper towel on the wall and a dead rat on the floor. She keeps her head down and her books close. She gets in line for the bathroom, which seems endless, and as she waits, she tries to distract herself by thinking about a trip she and her parents took to Chicago last spring. The trip was special because Emmie was able to lead the way and choose the destinations and neither of her parents seemed distracted by work. Emmie ends up being late to class and dreads walking in while everyone watches, but when she gets there, the teacher hasn’t arrived and the students are all busy gossiping. She sits and doodles, wishing she could “draw all day” because it helps her calm down (52).
Katie walks to the bathroom with such ease that even the dead rat on the ground is shown moving out of the way for her. Someone gives her their spot in line, but Katie is still late. Like Emmie, she is relieved to find the teacher hasn’t come to class yet. Katie notices Emmie as she walks past her, referring to her as “that quiet girl [who] likes to draw” (55). Katie says that she prefers talking to her friends and points out the boy who supposedly has a crush on her. One of the boys in the class takes Emmie’s drawing and announces that it’s a portrait of Katie. Katie gives him a “withering stare” while Emmie cowers, saying nothing. Katie wonders why people like Emmie can’t stand up for themselves.
In these chapters, Libenson continues to utilize images to help tell Emmie’s story. Emmie’s parents are so mentally absent that they are only partially drawn (Emmie’s father sits behind a newspaper; her mother’s foot appears on the edge of the scene). Illustrations also help build Emmie’s characterization as a socially anxious, pessimistic girl by showing her body language and her perspective. As she walks through the school hallways, she holds her head down and her books close, her eyes tiny dots. She maintains a sullen expression, and it is clear that she is hating every minute of her morning. Furthermore, she can’t help but notice everything wrong with the school, like the broken water fountain and a dead rat on the floor. Her anxiety and pessimism are visually juxtaposed with Katie’s pure optimism as she strides into school with a smile and is immediately greeted by many friends. Humorously, even the dead rat moves out of the way for Katie.
This section continues to develop the theme of Coping With and Overcoming Anxiety. For Emmie, every social interaction is a stressful affair that takes great mental effort, including going to the bathroom and walking past other students at their desks when she arrives late to class. Emmie is also highly self-reflective and thinks often about why she became so quiet. She remembers how Brianna’s move to the gifted program had a significant effect on her own social skills: “The more alone I was, the quieter I got” (39). In this scene, Emmie has no mouth, emphasizing just how powerless she feels to speak up.
Clues about Katie’s character pop up more and more as classes begin. Katie and Emmie have a crush on the same boy, and everything that Emmie wishes for, Katie gets. Katie also notices Emmie, which is out of character for a stereotypical popular girl with too many friends. She refers to Emmie as “that quiet girl” (55), and elsewhere she thinks, “Poor girl. But honestly, I don’t understand people who don’t stick up for themselves. It’s not like it takes effort” (57). In truth, this is how Emmie sees herself. She is critical of herself, which comes out in the way Katie talks about her. In class, Joe Lungo sees Emmie drawing a picture of Katie, and an illustration shows her looking embarrassed—thick straight lines cover her bright red cheeks, and her mouth disappears, as she cannot bring herself to stand up to her bully. Gradually, Katie becomes like a friend to Emmie who provides the tough love she needs to break out of her anxiety, demonstrating The Connection Between Friendship and Resilience: Emmie must become a friend to herself if she wants to overcome her fears.
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