Back Roads

Harley keeps his appointment with Betty the following month even though he hadn’t intended to go back. Harley tells Betty about visiting Bonnie, noticing that Betty is just as excited by this news as she was when he told her his father said that Misty was more of a man than Harley would ever be. Harley tells Betty that he believes his mother is more concerned about the girls because they can get pregnant. Betty wonders why he would think that, but Harley can’t explain. He also says Bonnie worries the girls are more sensitive than he is. When Harley comes back around to the possibility of the girls getting pregnant, Betty asks him why that is a bigger concern than a boy getting a girl pregnant. Harley insists a boy can walk away, but when Betty asks if that’s what he would do, he claims he would marry the girl whether he liked her or not; he should be responsible for his mistakes. Harley begins to cry, and he knows Betty wants to comfort him, but the last time she tried to comfort him, he ran out. Betty points out that Harley’s parents got married because Bonnie was pregnant with him. She asks if they had a happy marriage. Harley says they did, citing the fact that his father would listen to his mother talk about her day. Betty asks if Harley liked his father. Harley says he respected his father because he did everything he was supposed to do. When Betty points out that he beat his children, Harley says he believes his father thought that was part of being a father, too.

Harley is upset when he leaves Betty, nearly forgetting to stop at Yee’s. However, by the time he gets home, he feels calm. As Harley approaches the house, he has a hallucination that the girls are lying dead in the house. When he enters the house, Amber accuses him of being late. The girls have already eaten dinner. Amber is wearing one of Harley’s shirts. He tells her to take it off, but when he realizes she doesn’t have anything more than panties underneath, he yells for her to keep it on. Amber argues with Harley about getting her license again, but Harley continues to insist the insurance is too expensive. Misty tells Harley that Callie brought him a gift, an art book and a couple of recipes. Amber suggests Callie thinks Harley is a girl and disparages the way Callie dresses. She claims Callie is too old to wear tight jeans. Misty accuses Amber of being jealous. Amber tells Harley that one of her friends, Ashlee Brockway, wants to go out with him. Harley brushes the thought off, insisting Ashlee is too young for him. The phone rings and Misty tells everyone that their neighbor Mrs. Shank called, concerned about Harley. She says he was parked outside her house for nearly an hour. Harley doesn’t remember this. He is overwhelmed by the commotion inside the house and has sexual thoughts of Amber. He goes into Amber’s room to look at Ashlee’s picture in the yearbook.

Harley remembers the first time his father hit Amber. He was six and Amber was three. She knocked over their father’s beer, and their father backhanded her for it. Harley remembers he had been annoyed by Amber because she interfered with his toys and favorite television show, but that night when she came to his bed, he didn’t make her leave.

Amber set up a date between Harley and Ashlee. He is nervous, excited, and dreading the opportunity to have sex. He has to work that night and is disgusted by the cashiers’ discussion about pregnancy loss and surgeries on female organs. Rick teases Harley about taking a package of condoms for his date, but he calls them “rubbers,” confusing Church, who begins to worry that it might rain. At the end of his shift, Harley takes a box of condoms and a cucumber toward the back room to practice putting on a condom. He runs into Callie before he reaches the back room. Callie tells Harley that Amber was hostile toward her when she dropped off the art book and recipes. Callie dismisses the behavior because of what Harley and his sisters have been through, but he says that it isn’t an excuse to act badly and promises to talk to Amber about it. They then discuss the art book. Harley once again impresses Callie with his understanding of art. He asks about her husband and Callie expresses some bitterness about her husband’s nights out.

After Callie goes on with her shopping, Harley reflects on all the stories people tell about the shooting of his father. Bonnie’s lawyer claimed Harley’s father deserved to die for beating his children. Harley testified and tried to defend his father by pointing out the hardships he had to put up with to provide for his family. The prosecutor argued that people shouldn’t be allowed to take the law into their own hands. Harley feels the prosecutor made the jury afraid of his mother.

Callie is checking out as Harley returns to the front and he notices her talking to Bud. When she’s gone, Harley asks how Bud knows Callie, and learns that Callie used to work at the local newspaper where Bud was a writer. Harley wonders why Callie would live in their town, and Bud says it is because she took care of her grandfather in his final years, then stayed because he left her his land.

Harley goes to the mall to meet Ashlee. She is waiting for him with a group of girlfriends. They watch a movie. Afterward, they hold hands as they walk to Harley’s truck. Harley offers to take Ashlee to get pizza, but she claims not to be hungry. Harley feels she knows he doesn’t have the money for pizza. They talk briefly about his father’s death, then Ashlee suggests they go to the local reservoir, the make-out spot for teens. They park, and Ashlee tells Harley she’s on the pill because her mother doesn’t want her to have an unplanned pregnancy. Ashlee touches Harley’s leg and kisses him. He pushes her away. Ashlee tries to kiss him again, and he pushes her away with the back of his hand against her face. He drives her home.

Harley drives to the Mercer house. He can see Callie sitting on a couch reading a book. He’s frustrated that he doesn’t have someone to talk to about sex. He feels like the one thing he thought would bring him some pleasure is no longer an option. When Callie’s husband comes into the room, he dreads watching them touch.

Harley is reading Skip’s letter again as he follows Callie’s recipe for bean and macaroni soup. He thinks about Donny and the affection he felt for him, believing it is because he didn’t have a brother of his own. Misty and Jody criticize the way Harley is making the soup. Amber comes into the room in a bikini top and shorts, yelling at Harley for hitting Ashlee. Amber insists that Harley will never have a girlfriend if he keeps behaving this way. Amber cleans off the table and Harley picks up a note on one plate that is written in Jody’s hand. It says, “Esme ses the babys will be defektiv” (117). Amber expresses dislike of Esme but doesn’t wonder what the note means.

Uncle Mike arrives with a case of beer for Harley. Uncle Mike sees the couch and is angry that Harley damaged it since it once belonged to Uncle Mike’s mother. Harley remembers that his grandparents were unhappy, opinionated people and that their grandfather beat his children. Uncle Mike points out the chores Harley needs to do, including painting the house and mowing. Amber comes out and asks Uncle Mike about his son, Mike Jr. Mike Jr. is a football star, a fact that Uncle Mike is always bragging about. Amber and Harley make fun of Mike Jr., and Uncle Mike, offended, decides to leave. Harley tries to apologize, but Uncle Mike brushes him off. Harley feels bad because Uncle Mike is the only person who showed Harley any kindness at his father’s funeral.

Harley gets drunk and wanders out in the woods. He returns to the house and falls asleep on the floor. When he wakes, he finds his dog Elvis playing with a dead groundhog. Harley chases Elvis away and buries the groundhog. Harley goes inside and falls asleep again in the living room. Harley, despite believing he never dreams anymore, dreams that he is a small child sleeping in the same bed as Amber. Harley feels comforted, like he belongs to someone. However, Amber wakes him, and he remembers he is no longer a child. Amber tries to talk to him about Ashlee, asking if he was afraid. She tells him she was also afraid the first time. She’s wearing a lace chemise. Harley backs away from her. Amber complains that Harley never tells her anything. She says he doesn’t need to be afraid, and that he could touch her instead of Ashlee. Amber takes one of Harley’s hands, but he pulls away. Harley leaves the house as Amber yells at him, asking why he doesn’t take care of her too. She announces that she doesn’t love any of the boys she’s been with.

Harley runs away from the house, ending up at the Mercer home. Callie comes outside and calls to him. Harley goes down to the creek and collapses on the bank. He is crying, refusing to go back to his home. Callie pulls him into her arms in an effort to console him. He begins touching her. They have sex.