Autobiography Of Red

Geryon conceives of his thoughts and emotions as 'inside' things, while the actions and words of others are 'outside' things. Geryon's first interaction with the difference between 'inside' and 'outside' comes when he starts kindergarten. Literally, Geryon has a fear of walking through the "alien terrain" (24) of his school's hallway and instead chooses to walk around the red brick building's outside. This physical experience becomes internal when Geryon first notices the "difference between [the] outside and inside" (29) of his self after his brother sexually abuses him. Geryon realizes that 'inside,' or his mind, thoughts, and emotions, are his own. Faced with first sexual abuse and bullying by his brother, and, later, sexual exploitation by Herakles, Geryon often turns "all his attention to his inside world" (30), as when Geryon's mother leaves him alone with the babysitter and his brother.

Geryon's conception of inside and outside relates to his ideas about captivity and freedom. When Geryon's brother asks him what his favorite weapon is, he says "cage" (33). His brother dismisses this, saying a weapon has to "do something" (33), failing to understand Geryon's point: a cage contains, just as a fixed identity contains and provides some stability of being. Herakles tells Geryon that he wants him to be free because they're "true friends" (74). As Geryon has allowed his relationship with Herakles to define him, Geryon doesn't want to be free; he wants to be with Herakles, even if that means being held his captive, so to speak. When Geryon tries to talk to the tango singer about the beluga whales' captivity, she asks Geryon "whose tank" (103) he's in, which frustrates him.